


Dear Liam

by tabbytabbytabby



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Letters, M/M, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 14:11:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18500620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: After coming out of a depressive spiral, Theo writes a letter to Liam needing to apologize for how he acted.





	Dear Liam

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am using Theo to help channel some things, just with a little Thiam twist. I know this will never get where it needs to, but it's out here anyway.

Dear Liam,

I hope this letter finds you well. That sounds pretty formal considering what we used to be. But I suppose that’s what happens when people screw up and lose the people they care about, huh?

I’ve thought about reaching out to you so many times over the past few months. But I was never sure what to say or if you’d even want to hear from me. That second one held me back more than anything. I couldn’t stand the thought of reaching out to you and getting only silence. Not that I wouldn’t deserve that.

I’m writing you now because I need to. I need to get this out or I’m afraid I’ll never be able to, and then this rift between us will just continue to grow. So here it is: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I treated you and all those things I said or even didn’t say.

I was in a bad place all those months ago. I was lower than I could ever remember being. And every time I felt like I was getting my head above water something would happen and I’d be pushed right back down. I was upset and angry. And those were my good days. My worst days were the ones where I just didn’t care. Nothing mattered. 

Then I would start feeling again and it would hit me how bad things were and how alone I was. I screwed up so much, Liam. I know that. I have the scars to prove it, both mental and physical ones. And that’s not something I’m proud of. 

I got so wrapped up in myself and my pain that I never stopped to think about anyone else. You deserved better than that. I’m glad you saw that. As much as it hurt to have you leave me. It took losing you to open my eyes and make me see how bad things were. 

I’m not 100% better now. I doubt I’ll ever get there. This isn’t something that just has a magic fix. But I am better than I was. A lot better. I can see now how bad I was and how I was hurting not just myself but others as well. Including you. Especially you. 

I’m seeing a therapist and we’ve been talking about owning up to things we’ve done. Not taking or placing blame. All that does is cause anger and resentment and just puts up more walls. But taking ownership for our own feelings. Which is what I’m trying to do now. 

I don’t expect anything from you. I know you’ve probably moved on and have a good life. Which you deserve. I’ll always love you, Li. You were the best part of me. But in the end all I want is for you to be happy, Liam. Even if that’s not with me.

Love always, 

Theo

***

It takes a lot for Theo to send the letter. Part of him wonders if it’s selfish to do it. If he’s just going to be causing Liam more pain by coming back into his life again. But he knows Liam deserves an apology. So he puts the letter in the mail, sending it to his parent’s house, knowing Jenna will get it to him. And that’s that. 

He doesn’t let himself think about it. Thinking about it will only lead to spiraling and worrying and take him down a path he doesn’t want to go down. He’s sent the letter. What happens next isn’t up to him.

It’s a few days later that there’s a knock on the door. Theo can’t remember the last time he had guests. He dries his hands off on the dish towel by the sink before going to answer the door.

Standing there on his porch is Liam. He’s holding a slightly crumpled letter in his hands and his eyes are red rimmed. He’s clearly been crying. For a moment Theo thinks he’s hallucinating. But his imagination has never been able to get the details this accurate.

“Liam,” Theo whispers, gripping the door frame to stop himself from reaching out.

“Theo.” Liam takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders. “We need to talk.”


End file.
